habit formation
-December 2024-
Old habits die hard – ask anyone who has tried to quit smoking, overcome social media addiction, overthinking or even simpler habits like hitting the snooze alarm button in the morning
Rome was not built in a day – ask any successful author, entrepreneur, or stand up comedian.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going – ask any recreational or professional athlete or fitness enthusiast.
You’ve likely heard these quotes or even used them when trying to form good habits. I know I have. Take a moment to think about the habit that’s been hardest for you to master. Which one has come more easily?
Habit formation, as Psychology Today explains, is the process by which behaviors become automatic. Good habits can positively influence your life and relationships, making it easier for others to live with you.
Why the talk about habits now, in December 2024?
This season often prompts reflection—evaluating what worked, what didn’t, and setting New Year’s resolutions. Personally, I don’t wait for the new year to pick up new habits; I embrace opportunities for change year-round.
In today’s noisy, distracting world, building habits is challenging but possible. Here are tips I’ve used to form lasting habits and overcome mental resistance - WRITE, TALK, REFLECT.
Tip #1: WRITE It Down
This is my top priority. When I say “write,” I mean using a paper journal and pen or pencil—not technology. Why? Technology brings distractions: notifications, social media, and apps competing for your attention. Writing by hand creates a mental connection, thus strengthening the habit and making it stick more easily.
Write down why this habit is important to you; this will keep you motivated. Spell out the steps to take, the routine to follow or frequency, checkpoints, support groups, and resources you’ll need, including time. If you’ve struggled with a particular habit, try this strategy—write it down in detail.
Tip #2: TALK About It
After writing down the habit you want to cultivate, share it with people who can support and hold you accountable. Choose your accountability partners wisely. They should align with your vision and push you forward.
This quote from Lisa Nichols resonates deeply with me: “Don’t share million-dollar dreams with $100 dreamers.” It’s not that $100 dreamers are irrelevant, but they simply don’t understand your goals and, therefore, can’t keep you accountable. Worse, they might poke holes in your plans, feeding your self-doubt.
Surround yourself with supportive, progressive individuals who challenge you. This approach has worked well for me in my health and fitness journey. I have a tribe of people whose fitness habits align with mine and another group for nutritional habits. For public speaking and leadership growth, I turn to a different circle of friends.
Find your tribe, and consistency will become much easier.
Tip #3: REFLECT
After writing your habits and discussing them with accountability partners, the next step is actualizing them. This requires creating a routine to make the habit stick.
As you practice, reflect on what’s working, identify struggles, and adjust as needed. This is where “When the going gets tough, the tough get going” comes into play. Even if progress feels slow, keep going. A 1% improvement each day adds up over time as Robin Sharma often says. Slow progress does not mean failure; it simply takes time.
However, there may be circumstances where you need to switch gears. In such cases, replacing a habit with one that works better is perfectly fine. The key is to keep moving forward.
Be patient and kind to yourself. Consistency is crucial, but so is self-compassion. Stay the course, and you’ll see the shift.
1. Write it down.
2. Talk about it with the right people.
3. Reflect on what’s working and adjust.
Motivational guru Robin Sharma says it takes 66 days for a habit to stick. So, stay consistent and patient. Do the work, and you’ll reap the benefits of your new habits.
This video by Priscilla Shirer on doing the work captures my message perfectly.
